Missives From Troy

I am Helen Doremus. I write. I sing. I create things. I do kung fu. I wear a hat. I occasionally curse. I like pie. When I make a thing that's meant to amuse, it comes here to live.

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newyorker:

Shouts & Murmurs: The works of Homer, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Jack Kerouac get rejected: http://nyr.kr/VAENdF

Dear Mr. Homer,

Thank you for coming into the office last week and performing your epic poem. Unfortunately, we do not buy books based on pitches. We think your story is very interes—no, actually we don’t…

My fortune somewhat resembled that of a person who should entertain an idea of committing suicide, and, altogether beyond his hopes, meet with the good hap to be murdered.
Nathaniel Hawthorne

Cabin Pressure: Douz [x]

“I repeat: there’s no need to panic. Or to look out of the window…”

(via dduane)

comedycentral:

Click here to watch Stephen Colbert react to Michelle Obama’s “warm, soul-restoring bullshit.”

There’s a guy who really has put the ‘goober’ in gubernatorial, hasn’t he? Lord have mercy, just astonishing.

thedailyshow:

Full Episode from Tampa: Clint Eastwood, Mitt Romney, and minority outreach at the RNC. http://on.cc.com/RzNJi6

scribnerbooks:

The winner of the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, honoring the worst opening sentence to a work of fiction, has been announced:

As he told her that he loved her she gazed into his eyes, wondering, as she noted the infestation of eyelash mites, the tiny deodicids burrowing into his follicles to eat the greasy sebum therein, each female laying up to 25 eggs in a single follicle, causing inflammation, whether the eyes are truly the windows of the soul; and, if so, his soul needed regrouting. — Cathy Bryant, Manchester, England

View all the category winners and runners-up here.

popculturebrain:

Yes, you want to watch Alan Rickman make tea in slow motion set to the ‘Inception’ soundtrack. | io9